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November
9th, 2009
20:03


  • 22:53 why is drawing stuff on a computer so damn difficult. i feel like it should be able to just read & automatically manifest my thoughts. #
  • 02:12 would u die if i were designing a new tshirt? im so Love Angel Music Baby without the love angels music and babies #
  • 12:25 wake up wake up wake up it's tha first o tha monnnnnnnthhhhh so cash ur chex n come oooooonnnnn #
  • 15:45 does anyone else check the inside of their shoes for roaches & spiders every single time they put them on? #
  • 17:40 new song, new download (nov 17!), new tshirt (now!), new video, & coming soon to an australia near you: tinyurl.com/jaynewshit #
  • 19:01 why did i order a new, unused Italian textbook, and it arrived all torn up with damage on the inside & outside covered in shiny black tape? #
  • 19:16 would b so happy rite now if a plane passed over NYC raining down showers of cheese quesadillas (individually wrapped)&some fell n my window #
  • 19:49 @emotionsmusic yeah but u have to constantly check the air all around you for bees #
  • 19:54 i like how the cranberries announced a "south american" tour that ends in...........mexico #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
8th, 2009
20:02


  • 20:10 im moving to paris and going on a strictly street crepe diet #
  • 01:41 mutual interest is a pipe dream #
  • 03:03 my song "christmas really sucks" is coming out as a download-only single. who's excited? #
  • 03:48 someday my family will come back for me & take me home to the planet Rambien #
  • 03:52 RT @firemaplesong does the new single come with virtual razor blades? [omg i <3 u, of course] #
  • 13:40 just had a nightmare that i was put on a Bombardier Dash 8 Q400 with no toilet & windows across the back like a schoolbus for a 3.5hr flight #
  • 14:58 im gonna write a book about my life and call it Unrequited Effort #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
7th, 2009
20:02


  • 01:20 grateful #
  • 02:18 this status is a placeholder for my actual status, which i'm keeping to myself #
  • 02:39 is it weird that im downloadng contemporary christian music i used 2luv from itunes? there were sum fucking good christian singers n the 90s #
  • 02:50 omg i think im making a contemporary christian album circa 1995. try and stop me! #
  • 16:21 she'll burn that bridge, & build a house, & swallow the smoke in her mouth...then obviously she'll die, cuz smoke is poisonous. #
  • 17:34 Treadmilling to DC Talk and Point of Grace hahhahahahahahahahahahhaah #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
6th, 2009
20:02



  • 05:46 take me to eurodisney #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
5th, 2009
20:03



  • 15:52 Sitting in commercial audition waiting rooms listening to guys talk about how well their hair takes color...makes me laugh #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
4th, 2009
20:04



  • 15:12 this girl was asking her mom if they could buy M&M toilet paper this time. isn't it always M&M by the time ur finished? #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
October
13th, 2009
20:01


  • 20:30 tomorrow i return to my 2nd home.........the airport :/ #
  • 21:45 its cold up in this piece #
  • 23:08 verizon has jay brannan ringback tones! (if someone calls u they hear my song instead of ring sounds) cuhrazy! tinyurl.com/verizonjay #
  • 23:42 hi @siamusic !! i didnt know u were on twitter! havent seen u in agessss. let's play apples 2 apples again someday when we're all in townski #
  • 23:49 @jdsamson ur better off. it's your chance to switch to cetaphil (gentle skin cleanser NOT daily face wash, unless u have oil factory face) #
  • 00:08 i will be performing in Canada this week under the name Maple McFrostbyte #
  • 00:37 @siamusic how would you feel about brananagrams? #
  • 00:46 this is my 1000th tweet. here's to 1000 more pearls of darkness xo #
  • 01:54 i <3 drew barrymore #
  • 02:31 myspace just forced me to create a myspace email address. what the hell myspace, stop being so annoying, you hardly ever work anyway #
  • 14:43 There is so much coughing and sniffing on this train, there's no way in hell I'm going to avoid getting sick on this trip...again #
  • 15:00 there's another word for positive thinking: "delusion" #
  • 15:37 I think I've lost my mind. I just used hand sanitizer on a plastic spoon to prep it for use #
  • 17:16 overheard on a phone conversation: "when u talk like a mensch, then we'll have something to talk about"/is it wrong that that made me laugh? #
  • 17:25 Flight delayed due to a "jetway crisis". Again with the terminology. #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
October
12th, 2009
20:00


  • 23:17 omg something soooo wild n crazy just happened. soo crazy, its was so so crazy. omg crazy. but i can't tell you what it is. #
  • 00:15 Omg you would not fucking BELIEVE what just happened. You would not believe it! #
  • 01:51 should i get a flu vaccine tomorrow? i've had them b4, why is everyone saying they're bad this year? just being dramatic? #
  • 03:31 oh wait, you mean Depo-Provera is NOT the flu vaccine? oh fuck #
  • 03:41 where the hell is my tattooed irish sweet potato #
  • 04:19 do u think Fairuza Balk would go to Six Flags with me? #
  • 19:18 is it weird that im terrified of heights but LOVE needles & having blood drawn? #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
October
11th, 2009
20:01


  • 21:32 I did it. I had to. Ate at Red Lobster. I even waited an hour for the table. #
  • 04:03 i miss red lobster #
  • 04:52 just for the record, if i didnt want to be an actor, i would be covered in tattoos. covered. #
  • 14:07 it's not that i'm not beautiful, i'm just not beautiful to him. or him. or him. #
  • 14:35 whoever invented the Airbus 380 needs a good talking to, a slap on the wrist, and possibly a penile implant #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
October
10th, 2009
20:00


  • 22:37 why are there so few human beings with souls? #
  • 01:27 toronto/montreal/nashville/atlanta/orlando/miami/salt lake/denver/phoenix/vancouver/on my way!!! jaybrannan.com/i suck @ life tour continues #
  • 13:01 would it be too much to ask for a little irish cream in my coffee? #
  • 17:44 i think i have to leave NYC, but i dont know how or where. i love NYC, but if i stay here i will be alone forever. #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
October
9th, 2009
20:01


  • 22:25 statusless #
  • 00:39 australia/canada/usa - all shows on sale & coming up quick!! (my last shows 4 awhile, so get ur tix or 4ever hold ur peace) jaybrannan.com #
  • 03:26 um depressed people probably should not try Gabapentin. just when you thought your body chemistry couldnt get lower... #
  • 13:08 is it possible to become Portuguese by insemination? apparently MySpace thinks so, cuz all the ads it gives me are in Portguese #
  • 15:05 5th waffle this week #
  • 15:24 Does anyone know any other internet providers in Manhattan? I want out of the clutches of Verizon but am not able to sign up with Time W ... #
  • 17:43 i want to start a foundation to save North Americas #1 endangered species, nearly extinct: The Top. #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
October
8th, 2009
20:01


  • 20:07 i still want to try escargot, but im too embarrassed. & i feel like escargot "to go" is not right. & i dont have the fork or tongs. #
  • 22:45 im confused/y this race against time 4 Cranberries tix &they sold out in 10mins etc./&now i could buy 6 more on ticketmaster if i wanted? #
  • 02:05 sittinovaherestarininyofacewithalustinmaeyessuredontgiveadamnandyoudontknowthativebeendreaminofyainmyfantasy #
  • 15:40 4 hrs on phone with Verizon DSL trying to get my internet to work. How is it after 4 hrs we have gotten nowhere? #
  • 16:26 4.5 hrs, 1 billion xfers trying to get my internet up. Verizon ACTUALLY transferred me to a completely different company: UPS. not kidding. #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
October
7th, 2009
20:00


  • 00:44 someone please marry me and get me the hell out of here #
  • 02:26 thinking of changing my name to Kosovo Binaca #
  • 03:12 boys r stupid & i hate them all. set fire to ur face #
  • 10:35 i want to go to the diner for a waffle, bacon, & coffee, but that would be 4 days in a row & im starting to feel embarrassed #
  • 17:36 neighbor has started using so much cologne that my apartment is constantly filled w/it. as if schizos shrieking round the clock wasnt enough #
  • 18:13 everyone respond to this with the meanest, most horrible thing you can come up with. ready...GO! #
  • 18:36 no offense, but you guys are a lot meaner when you're not trying. i dont think i've ever been less offended in my life. #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
October
6th, 2009
20:01


  • 21:05 turns out the chocolate/peppermint thing doesnt work. bought 2 brands from whole foods, both taste like poopoo. #
  • 00:08 new garmin. been charging for hours. still wont turn on. why doesnt anything work, ever? life=paying lots of $ 2rich ppl 4 stuff that sucks #
  • 00:32 sumday sumbodys gonna make ya wanna turn around and say goodbyeeyi / til then baybeh r u gonna let em hold u down & make ya cryeeyi #
  • 14:29 i <3 p!nk #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
October
5th, 2009
20:01


  • 00:20 is a stressball #
  • 12:13 People who blow their nose in public are so fucking gross and evil. Come on now. Especially in restaurants. That's fucking sick. #
  • 13:56 does anyone have personal experience with Tunecore? #
  • 16:10 beth karas + nancy grace = perfection #
  • 18:53 URGENT: i want a big dark chocolate bar with little pieces of peppermint candy in it. readyyyy...GO! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
October
4th, 2009
20:00


  • 20:36 i dont know if i can stomach another ride n a turboprop/and its supposed 2 rain 2morrow/should i buy n amtrak ticket? :( #
  • 10:11 On the train :). After upcoming Toronto flight, no more propeller planes if it can be helped. Blech #
  • 13:52 I have been listening to 4 hours of snoring #
  • 15:32 I'm home!! And 2 hours before my flight was even scheduled to leave Syracuse! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
October
3rd, 2009
20:00


  • 20:35 btw if u live near SYRACUSE, i'm playing at Syr. Univ. Schine Underground tomorrow (sat 10/4 6pm $7) tix: 315-443-4517 #
  • 22:42 and by sat 10/4, i meant sat 10/3. obviously. omg do i really have to face the airport again tomorrow? #
  • 10:13 When did train conductors start refusing to call for tickets? They just snap their pincers at you in silence like angry lobsters. #
  • 11:54 The flight attendant just announced we were delayed because the plane is "gettin a new ground power thingymabobber." ?! #
  • 14:44 playing tonight. SYRACUSE UNIV Schine Underground 6pm $3student $7public / tix: 315-443-4517 #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
October
2nd, 2009
20:00


  • 22:46 omg emergency!!!! 911!!!! *wee uuu weee uuu* (<--sirens) red alert!! we have an emergency!!!!!!!!!!! i'm still single :( #
  • 01:03 i can't decide who i love more, Angela Chase or Lysol #
  • 10:23 i keep walking into stores & restaurants and saying things like "Olá" and "Ciao" and "Obrigado" by mistake #
  • 12:09 omfg i did it!!!!!!! i got tickets to THE CRANBERRIES!!!!! and im in town!!!!!!! omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg i cant breathe #
  • 12:18 THE CRANBERRIES11@!#!#T(@$G) it sold out in like 10 minutes and I AHVE TICKETSSSSASAIDVOIJ!!!!!!!! omg my lifelong dream #
  • 12:35 AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH omjc omjc omjc omjc zooooommm bay zoommmm bay zooommm bay eh ay eh ay eh ay eh oh uh oh uh #
  • 12:50 @lisaloeb4real um hi lisa. as long as my dreams are coming true (the cranberries reunion), will you write a song with me? #
  • 14:31 Why do str8 guys like hiss and stuff at girls on the street? Do women actually respond to that or are they trying to attract snakes? #
  • 14:47 I'm gonna write a book that says u have to pay me 10% of ur income in order to comply w/ God's law & go to Heaven, and call it The Brible #
  • 17:28 i just walked by a stretch limo entirely painted with...spray paint. matte finish. the very definition of paradox. #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
October
1st, 2009
20:00


  • 00:08 tinyurl.com/omgiluv - so amazing. these 2 women in the 90s: superhuman. their careers will never be replicated #
  • 01:16 the i suck at life tour goes down...under!! 4 Australian tour dates (on sale Oct 6) - see jaybrannan.com xo #
  • 13:19 got2 stop mailing list sign-ups @shows. spend hours typing them up &they all bounce back cuz i cant read anyones writing #
  • 14:35 in case it slipped by you (or your writing sucks), I HAVE A MAILING LIST. jaybrannan.com/mailinglist.html ... xo #
  • 15:06 i like how i've responded to multiple ads for both guitar & italian lessons, yet no one gets back to me. am i a leper? #
  • 17:52 getting on the subway & sitting in a seat that is warm from someone else's body heat makes me barf #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
30th, 2009
20:01


  • 22:02 i. am. so. tired. #
  • 13:11 My friend Aaron bought a fog machine & used it alone in his room last night. With lasers. I don't know how to intervene #
  • 14:36 just witnessed someone being asked if they were pregnant in the elevator. answer was no. pleasure was immense. #
  • 17:53 i am terrified of people #
  • 18:17 omfg i forgot about The Cranberries tour AmEx cardmembers pre-sale this morning & now the tickets r gone. pls let me die #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
29th, 2009
20:01



  • 20:51 i want bacon #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
28th, 2009
20:01



  • 20:01 oh fuck yeah, now Snapped is on!! i <3 Oxygen #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
27th, 2009
20:01



  • 18:56 i've been watching america's next top model marathons for 3 days straight. i wanna be on top. #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
26th, 2009
20:00



  • 19:28 help my friend PJ DeBoy run the NY Marathon for 2 family members w/ MS: tinyurl.com/pjdonate & tinyurl.com/pjstory #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
25th, 2009
20:01


  • 21:44 omgizz the portuguese peeps were soooo sweet! so were the non-portuguesies. thanks Europe for such a magical time!! #
  • 14:41 Almost home. My immune system finally gave out. Disappearing for awhile. Bye! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
24th, 2009
20:00


  • 20:11 ugh i feel sick :( from the bacalhau à brás :( #
  • 06:56 my last Europe show TONIGHT in LISBON!!!!!!! (at Lux) #
  • 09:38 Holy fuck I'm in Belem by the water & watching this HUGE jellyfish!!! I've never seen one before!!! #
  • 12:24 omg i'm getting nervous about tonight!! what if the Lisbos (Lisbians?) hate me & throw me to the jellyfish?!?!! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
23rd, 2009
20:04


  • 09:08 Omg Lisbon is amazing. I could totally find love here. Not coming home. Pls cancel my life. Tchau! Xo #
  • 10:13 I am eating bacalhau!!!!! #
  • 14:23 jesus the drug dealers in lisbon are super aggressive. and not very discreet. #
  • 15:12 i want 2 live somewhere else for a couple months but cant decide where :/ rome, madrid, paris, lisbon, tel aviv, buenos aires, mexico city? #
  • 16:29 i want more bacalhau!!!! #
  • 17:40 Goddammit I ordered bacalhau and ended up with some dish that's mostly shredded potatoes. I came to portugal & got hashbrowns!! #
  • 18:17 Omg they're playing Amanda Marshall!!! Eu amooooooo #
  • 18:28 I love how a signature motion in the air is THE universal sign for "can I have the check?". It works in every single country. Every one!! #
  • 18:36 I've decided on my Portuguese stage name. Jayzinho Branninho #
  • 19:23 only 1day b4 i return 2 america! i miss NYC but i cant believe i pulled off this tour. &seen so many amazing new places! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
22nd, 2009
20:00


  • 21:10 if i took my sleeping pill over 2 hours ago...shouldnt i be effing sleeping? #
  • 05:03 and i am finally headed for Lisboa...do u think o amor de meu coracao will be waiting for me, my EU passport in hand? #
  • 07:36 I hate sandwiches. I have never liked sandwiches and I never will like them. Why must they be the international standard? #
  • 08:23 Dear Barcelona Airport: Why is it 100 degrees in here? Its like I'm back in my hotel room... #
  • 08:34 I just bought duty free imported Austrian chocolate made with "Alpine Milk" ... Only there's a Kraft Foods logo on the back...? #
  • 10:43 Another sudden, turbulent, and terrifying landing in Madrid. Connecting thru this airport = bad idea! #
  • 11:01 Is Rio as dangerous as everyone says? To the point that traveling there alone (and not speaking Portuguese) would be a bad idea? #
  • 11:40 Omg that's twice on this tour I've walked off without my guitar at the airport. Jay Brannan needs proper rest & nutrition #
  • 12:12 Portugo here I come!!!!!!!! #
  • 16:16 Having Indian again. Tomorrow I will find bacalhau. Hotel wifi doesn't work as usual. European hotels = renaissance period #
  • 16:34 There's a drunk person passed out at the table next to me. He hasn't moved in 30 mins. He's like practically in my lap #
  • 18:56 i wish i was octo-lingual. and 100 lbs. lighter :/ #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
21st, 2009
20:00


  • 07:09 Carrying nice looking bags full of newspaper &banana peels &notes that say "Fuck Pickpockets" Trying to stand out. &All my money is Canadian #
  • 08:58 The boys in Barcelona r quite meticulous w/ their hair gel. A lil like Hoboken in that way. Also, rattails r still in! #
  • 09:15 I did it! I ordered paella! But the one without eyes & bodies, everything's peeled. Creo que es paella turistica #
  • 09:33 The rice in my paella is quite hard. Is that...traditional? #
  • 09:35 When I asked for hard rice in my paella, this isn't what I meant #
  • 09:45 I'm much more afraid of someone throwing a vial of cursed bird poo on me than the actual robbery part #
  • 14:22 holy hell i raced through barcelona on foot today for 6 hours....walked like 10 miles. my. feet. hate. me. #
  • 17:26 Am I a bad person for having chinese food 2x in Spain? &i ate indian the whole time I was in Germany&Holland #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
20th, 2009
20:00


  • 04:09 soooooooo tireddddddd.....but today i take a burro to BARCELONA & tonight i play!! (Luz de Gaz) #
  • 13:21 omg Barcelona is going to hate me! #
  • 17:20 omg barcelona was soooooooo nice!! moltes gracies everyone!! tomorrow is my tourist day!! yee haw #
  • 17:51 im stuh-arving. europe + sunday + late at night = not looking good. at least i have an extra snickers in my bag. *sigh* #
  • 19:29 when i get back to NYC, i am going to eat 100 packages of ramen #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
19th, 2009
20:00


  • 06:09 buenos dias! esta noche es mi concierto en MADRID!!! en el Orange Cafe. hasta prontoooooooo #
  • 10:54 Ok there is a Big Black Ass right in front of Madrid's central train station. 2 storeys high. In no way kidding or exaggerating. #
  • 19:40 muchas gracias everyone in Madrid for being soooo nice to me!! i had so much fun!! Next Stop: BARCELONA!!!! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
18th, 2009
20:00


  • 20:21 ugh back to the airport in the morningggggg #
  • 20:46 ticket link for Nashville finally up...that and all other shows currently on sale @ jaybrannan.com ! xo #
  • 04:32 phoenix ticket link up now too. so all shows are a go -- get tickets NOW at jaybrannan.com !! and tell your friendskis #
  • 08:11 Rome Fiumicino has a Dyson Airblade!! Maybe not so Terzo Mondo... Voy al MADRIDo!! #
  • 08:22 Dear Alitalia: Why does your plane reek of cigarettes? #
  • 11:28 That was a fucking terrifying landing. But I'm alive. And in Spain for the first time!!! #
  • 13:20 my hotel bed in madrid feels like a cloud. someone bring me paella because i'm never getting up. #
  • 15:24 If I wrote a book called "My Time in Europe", the subtitle would be "Trapped in the Rain Without an Umbrella" #
  • 16:19 Doing laps around Madrid looking for ice cream #
  • 17:17 only have 2 countries &a cpl days left 2 find my european husband :/ Spain&Portugal-u r my last hope 4 dual citizenship! #
  • 19:06 ay dios mio, tengo hambre otra vez :/ #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
17th, 2009
20:00


  • 21:05 housewife...in italian!! LIVE from Milan. tinyurl.com/casalinga #
  • 07:07 I can't believe I am already leaving rome tomorrow :( barely enough time to catch my breath! Xo #
  • 10:26 Tried to get my hair trimmed in Rome and instead the man shaves it almost to the skin. WHY does EVERYTHING go wrong? #
  • 11:11 Someday I'm going to get married in St. Peter's #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
16th, 2009
20:01


  • 20:16 i am laying in the most uncomfortable bed i have ever experienced in my life. its like a "mattress" made of coat hangers #
  • 21:21 if i get scabies from this hotel room, i will be so sad. there are dead mosquitos & blood smears on the wall. #
  • 09:55 spent the whole day changing hotels. waste of time, but...at least there's no more blood on the walls. nice bed too. #
  • 12:30 Omg they have viagra flavored gelato outside the pantheon #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
15th, 2009
20:00


  • 20:20 had a lovely day & evening in milano...grazie everybody! (& i bought new shoes) next stop: ROMA!! Circolo degli Artisti #
  • 03:53 taking Trenitalia to Roma...hope we get there!

    xojay #
  • 12:41 tonight in ROMA ITALIA!! circolo degli artisti w/ Me, Marco Guazzone & Giulia Anania...you better be there!! ciaooooo #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
14th, 2009
20:01


  • 09:43 Eating aloe flavored gelato outside il duomo in milano. Yayyyyyyy turisticaaaaa #
  • 11:27 i'm singing tonight in MILANO!!! La Casa 139 ... see you there!!! xo #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
13th, 2009
20:01


  • 07:12 The food options in the Hamburg airport r truly awful #
  • 08:03 I want to be an Emirates flight attendant. I like their hats with the scarf thing #
  • 08:38 I find it awkward how loud women's shoes are. Honestly its kind of weird...like reindeer bells or something #
  • 10:54 I just experienced the transfer from hell at Schipol. Why does Amsterdam hate me so much? #
  • 14:48 Of course its going to rain the whole time I'm in Italy. Yay. #
  • 16:27 yayyyy!! i FINALLY just laid down in my hotel bed! altho i feel like 12 hours of travel should have taken me way further #
  • 18:26 should you tip for a to go order ("take away") in italy? i usually tip everyone like 100 times more than i should... :/ #
  • 18:50 since i have pseudonyms for Germany & Spain, i think in Italy i will go by Summer Capriotti. or Luigi Bambino. #
  • 19:02 ok. Luigi Bambino or Panini Caprese? #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
12th, 2009
20:00


  • 06:52 On my way to HAMBURG for my last show in Germany....for awhile. See u tonight at KNUST!! Danke 2 every1 in Berlin!! #
  • 12:27 Tonight is my last show in Germany!! :( #
  • 18:16 wow danke germany for such a memorable experience!!! thank u so so much!! next stop: ITALIA!! #
  • 18:41 ich liebe Gummibären - tinyurl.com/gummibaren #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
11th, 2009
20:00


  • 20:09 there was no "do not disturb" sign, so i just wrote my own & taped it to the door #
  • 07:03 i play TONIGHT in BERLIN @ Frannz - early show: doors @ 7pm, show starts @ 8pm - dont be lateeeeee!! #
  • 12:54 New USA & Canada tour dates!! tinyurl.com/newtourdates #
  • 14:41 Waiting to go on stage in Berlin ... Sooooo nervous!!! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
10th, 2009
20:00


  • 08:04 My body is so tired. I wish I could spend today in a bed instead of on trainnnnsss :/ #
  • 10:18 Relieved I made my train transfer as I had only 4 minutes! 2 more hours til Berlin... #
  • 10:40 Was just talking to my reflection in the train window...do I always look like I have bell's palsy when I talk? :/ #
  • 13:48 Wilkommen in Berlin! #
  • 14:19 Would it be weird if I called the Verizon Wireless Global Help Desk just to chat? Its the only free call I can make #
  • 16:22 everyone go see my friend's movie SORORITY ROW out tomorrow (sept. 11) - same director as my HOUSEWIFE video!! :) #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
9th, 2009
20:00


  • 04:26 im sleeepy...long day today: train to MUNICH, radio interview, soundchk, eat something, show @ 59:1! invite ur friends! #
  • 06:01 Best part of Germany: Gosch!! (Fast food chain with smoked fish sandwiches) ich liiiiieeebbbeeeee #
  • 07:01 Bought an eel sandwich for the train ride, but I want it NOW!! #
  • 07:11 omj theres wifi on this train! smoked fish & internet, everything is perfect! except now my fingers smell like vagina :/ #
  • 07:32 Except wifi in europe never actually works properly, so strike that as I can't get past the homepage. I wonder if they sell crack in the ... #
  • 08:25 I'm trapped in the handicap stall!! The doors only work electronically and the buttons don't work!! #
  • 18:42 wow so much fun in Munich tonight--thanks everyone! really looking forward 2 BERLIN! pray i make my 6 minute train xfer #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
8th, 2009
20:01


  • 20:03 im getting lots of jay brannan ads on facebook. i wonder if i get a discount when advertising to myself #
  • 09:32 Just arrived in Franfurt for the first time! Show tonight @ Nachtleben (I think)! #
  • 18:02 dinner: stolen cheese & gifted stroopwafels. omg is that the title of my next album? thank u frankfurt! next: MUNICH! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
7th, 2009
20:00


  • 21:27 since i have a name 4 Spain, i need 1 for the German shows this week: Jürgen Hans von Lars van Zimmer-Rosen-Zweig? #
  • 06:32 tonight - Köln, DE @ Stadtgarten !! all of Germany will be there, don't miss out #
  • 17:42 sooo much fun in cologne tonight! danke everyone for being so nice!! next stop...FRANKFURT! #
  • 18:21 goddammit i'm hungry again & too tired to go out searching for street meat & french fries #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
6th, 2009
20:00


  • 03:59 goedemoergen....today i head for germany by train. goodbye amsterdam, thanks for everything :) #
  • 06:28 Ok so on occasion my life is...mildly exciting. Sometimes while sitting in train stations in foreign lands, I have flashbacks... #
  • 06:29 ...of some of the places I have gotten to go. I may have smiled a TINY bit, but if u tell anyone, ill fucking kill u #
  • 12:17 There's lots of bees in cologne #
  • 16:28 wishes we lived in a very different world. and he wishes he were immune to pain, rather than a magnet for it. #
  • 17:52 i want chinese food. but i have a bad feeling cologne shuts down around 9pm. if it ever opened at all on a sunday... #
  • 19:35 jesus does love me, i found kebab! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
5th, 2009
20:00


  • 20:31 sorry my dutch is so hideous. i tried! tinyurl.com/jamsterdam #
  • 21:16 i can hear the person peeing above me. yay european hotels! #
  • 12:57 @aballadeerhere thanks 4 opening my show &helping promote so much--i forgot 2 thank u from the stage b/c im a bad person but u were awesome! #
  • 13:12 going to set out again tonight to find the amsterdam hookers. i WILL see a hooker in a window if it kills me #
  • 13:40 i wonder how much i'd have to pay them off to let me stand in one of the windows for a photo in the red light district #
  • 13:46 RT meghanchavalier@jaybrannan If you need 2 see a hooker in a window just drive past my house [haha thanks] #
  • 16:48 I find it odd that the table next to me has been speaking German all night but just sang Happy Birthday in English #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
4th, 2009
20:00


  • 20:34 shoes worse than i thought. just took one off & my sock was all bloodied! omg im like a fucking leper! #
  • 05:06 my 1st show ever in Amsterdam...TONIGHT! @ sugar factory. i'm sooo nervous/anxious!! i hope they throw stroopwafels #
  • 06:40 Have been guarding the sugar bowl from pigeons all morning. This dutch woman just pranced by, grabbed a cube, &ate it. Explains the birds #
  • 13:14 Ew I'm getting really nervous. I wish I had time for a nap!! Omg omg omg I can't breathe #
  • 18:17 dank u wel amsterdam for being so nice to me!!! i had so much fun...& have a lifetime supply of stroopwafels!!! im fat #
  • 18:46 y do ppl insult me & include "@jaybrannan" AND tweet in english when they usually dont just so i'll see it & they can hurt my feelings? #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
3rd, 2009
20:00


  • 01:09 I'm in effing holland!! #
  • 02:29 All the dutch people are bicycling to work in their business suits. Its so adorable. Pedal faster Lars! You'll miss the meeting! #
  • 05:18 Exploring amsterdam in the POURING rain waiting for hotel rm. Someone just threw a bird wing from a restaurant to the street. A bird wing. #
  • 07:32 i can't believe i just saw anne frank's actual diary #
  • 18:29 Does anyone know a relatively inexpensive shoe store in amsterdam? My new shoes suck for walking #
  • 19:14 Holy shit, warm chocolate waffle. Will u marry me? I wasn't exepcting this kind of magic #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
2nd, 2009
20:01


  • 21:34 i am ready. i am ready for europe. take that, stress level! #
  • 01:45 i cant believe it's going to be raining the whole time i'm in amsterdam. what if i get swallowed by an overflowing canal? :( #
  • 02:09 i have no concept of weather. do you need a jacket for 55 F weather, or just a hoodie? #
  • 02:19 everyone keeps asking if i'm going to europe for a tour. apparently my marketing efforts are crap. haha #
  • 02:41 YES. on tour now: Amsterdam-Koln-Frankfurt-Munich-Berlin-Hamburg-Milan-Rome-Madrid-Barcelona-Lisboa! then Hell #
  • 16:22 Wanda wanda wanda #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
September
1st, 2009
20:00


  • 00:34 o. m. g. #
  • 02:09 dammit i need a little german & italian assistance over here #
  • 02:55 ok. going to sleep for another Spanish phone interview in the morning. (the Spanish r stealing my sleep!) but i <3 them #
  • 16:57 omG Gmail has been broken for like an hour. i can't breathe. oxyGen! oxyGen!!! #
  • 17:46 i luv me some automated postal center #
  • 18:37 RT @StartSwimming seeing @JayBrannan in Amsterdam. Shld I b ashamed 4thinking I mite get disappointd? [y do ppl say these things 2 my face?] #
  • 18:50 @StartSwimming u could have left out the "@jaybrannan", but you didn't cuz u wanted me 2 see :( oh well, there r 400 other ppl coming :) #
  • 19:57 oh thank god. all systems back online. at some point i should probably pack. :/ #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
August
31st, 2009
20:01


  • 21:23 guess what i am #
  • 21:33 answer: st-st-st-starrrrving!!! #
  • 01:20 i meant to do laundry tonight but i kinda feel like i'm gonna barf so i dont wanna ::::(( #
  • 01:47 is it weird that i sit on continental.com sometimes pricing out itineraries for fun? #
  • 01:50 the thing is, i kind of hate air travel. but i'm obsessed with optimizing it. #
  • 13:57 @steffenmichels haha i dont plan my set list 2 weeks in advance. i would recommend only 1 show. i'm boring & untalented #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches

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