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March
26th, 2020
20:56



kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
31st, 2009
20:00


  • 20:47 only 1 day left to donate to JAYCH.I.V./J.A.I.D.S. !! don't forget!! jaybrannan.bandcamp.com/ #
  • 23:01 omg 2 of my Portuguese boyfriends just sent me a drunken video message from Rio. muitas saudadesssss!! quero morreerrrrr #
  • 23:55 bit.ly/86xSFt #
  • 01:06 ok i did major soundproofing work to my door. let's hope it helps!! gracias, soundproofing.org #
  • 12:24 today: last chance to donate to Jaych.I.V./J.A.I.D.S. ! jaybrannan.bandcamp.com/ #
  • 13:14 i would like a chocolate covered waffle from Dam Square please. and a billion coffees. #
  • 14:29 was definitely hoping 2b making babies w/ my boyfriend@the stroke of midnite tonite-its a shame theres absolutely no chance of th@ happening #
  • 17:48 some1 on the elevator: "gay/str8/black/white, i dont care, we're all gods children cuz last year i had a friend, some1 gave him poison dope" #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
30th, 2009
20:01


  • 20:24 so excited to discover i can watch ALL Family Guy episodes online, back to Season 1, Episode 1!! #
  • 23:08 someone shoot me #
  • 01:29 im buying a kindle but i need to know which case to get. lightweight/not bulky/not colorful/simple/wont harm the kindle. suggestions? #
  • 04:07 it's not that i'm not beautiful, i'm just not beautiful to you #
  • 14:49 20 ppl in line for women's restroom. 0 for men's. Never felt more grateful to be a guy. It really isn't fair what chicks deal with. #
  • 16:57 y does Whole Foods ALWAYS understock Silk Choc Soymilk Lite? when u run out instantly EVERY shipment for years, dont u start buying more? #
  • 17:53 omfg i just ordered my new Kindle 2 + M-Edge GO! cover!!!! im sooo excieeeeteeeddd!! now i just have to learn to read #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
29th, 2009
20:01



  • 18:08 the rain in spain falls mainly on the plain #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
26th, 2009
20:00



  • 23:16 i think Grace Coddington just became one of my favorite people #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
25th, 2009
20:00


  • 20:01 i wonder how long i'll have to wander around to find an open restaurant. is it january 4, 2010 yet? #
  • 21:09 I kind of want to move to koreatown #
  • 21:37 my italian teacher (from Venice) pronounces "z" a little like "th" (similar to Castilian "z" or "c")...is that what most Italians would do? #
  • 02:34 ugh is there any possibility i will be able to learn 4-7 new languages before i die? #
  • 12:30 today is your last day to download "Ever After Happily" for FREE!! send 2 anyone u think might like it. tinyurl.com/freemp3jay #
  • 15:12 listening2 Dee Dozier's new album--grateful theres still music being made with heart&soul, not just dance beats &other forms of sensory rape #
  • 16:31 i luv these girls. texas u r fucked, but sometimes u give us gold. tinyurl.com/want2bnatalie #
  • 16:58 i lurv the dixie chicks! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
24th, 2009
20:00


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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
23rd, 2009
20:00


  • 20:18 USA should revoke freedom of religion in 2010. or force all non-muslim Americans to convert to Islam. discuss "equal rights" again in 2011. #
  • 21:53 am i a hippie? or just a weirdo with social & emotional problems? #
  • 22:55 @okcaiolohan hi #
  • 22:57 @okcaiolohan lol xo #
  • 00:09 "ever after happily" - FREE download - for 3 days only!! pass it on :) info: jaybrannan.com/news.html #
  • 03:19 omg. some1 just forwarded me my own free download (jaybrannan.com/news.html) & told me 2 check it out, that it was "kind of interesting" lol #
  • 12:01 rejection is the greatest form of flattery. oh wait, that's not how it goes #
  • 15:56 lonely planet #
  • 19:51 @doughboy1547 actually that's the Law of Cliche Bullshit. the 2 are often confused :) xo #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
22nd, 2009
20:00


  • 00:13 i just went running in 30F weather (-1C) at 11:30pm on a monday. does that make me a healthy or an unhealthy person? #
  • 01:41 im bored & have no soul #
  • 01:47 i wish i had a cool name like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad #
  • 02:29 if i stuff toilet paper in all the cracks around my door in an effort to quiet the shrieking neighbors, does that make ME the crazy person? #
  • 02:57 @joshua_jenkins omg ive totally done that #
  • 02:58 did i mention the toilet paper was used? ...just kidding. #
  • 03:12 @gregorymatthew <3 #
  • 04:09 @lauryb77 thank U :) #
  • 14:20 so i know ur scared of yellow. trust me, i hate colors. but, just fyi, my USED tshirts look SO good after being washed & faded a few times!! #
  • 19:02 9 days, 4 hours, 58 minutes left to find love, or my whole year was a flop #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
21st, 2009
20:00


  • 20:54 ur a cold <3d snake (girl!) look n2 ur eyees/uh ohu/uh ohu/uve been tellin lies/ur a loverboy@play (girl!) u dont play by rulez/uh ohuwoah.. #
  • 21:32 @Joeyr821 no he's not, he's as cold as "i-eece, i-eece, i-eece, i-eece" [duh nuh nuh duh nuh nuh] #
  • 00:31 regional coding of DVDs is a dumb concept. does humanity do anything that isnt annoying? #
  • 00:52 anybody heard the new Mary J? $3.99 for full album (mp3 version) on Amazon! - today only #
  • 12:50 i'm not gonna write you a love song. cuz you asked for it. cuz you need one. #
  • 19:25 some of u know 1of my BFFs Dee Dozier...well shes just released her first album!! now on iTunes!! click or die: tinyurl.com/deedozier #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
20th, 2009
20:00


  • 01:40 check & check. ha! #
  • 14:01 i want a fish sandwich from Gosch (germany) & a tarte citron from a Parisian patisserie!! or Hummus from the crazy screamers in Tel Aviv! #
  • 14:57 brittany murphyyyyyyyy!!!!!! :( :( R.I.P. <3 clueless is one of my favorite movies of all time. so is girl, interrupted. u will b missed #
  • 18:07 Why have all the tenants in my building gone off the deep end? I'm living in an asylum. #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
19th, 2009
20:00


  • 01:01 Ci sono molti ristoranti italiani in New York? #
  • 01:01 Si, ci sono. #
  • 01:01 Mangi la pasta spesso? #
  • 01:02 No, non mangio la pasta spesso. #
  • 01:02 Quando vai al ristorante italiano, que cosa prendi? #
  • 01:02 Quando vado al ristorante italiano, ordino rigatoni alla matriciana. #
  • 01:02 Oooo, buono! #
  • 01:38 @ourladyj WHAT?! i cant believe i missed BOOB-AID!! i didnt even know about it!!! i SO wanted to perform!!!!!! #
  • 01:53 i'm stalking you. thought you should know. #
  • 02:48 sometimes my heater is way too cold. sometimes its way too hot. somehow it never seems 2b relative 2the weather OR the thermostat. its alive #
  • 14:20 so where's this alleged blizzard? #
  • 14:48 sometimes i eat this waffle that comes individually packaged from the store. i just noticed that one of the ingredients...is "rapeseed"? #
  • 15:34 i would like a 2nd soy latte & a little lovemaking please #
  • 19:59 @rdlbr lol i <3 it! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
18th, 2009
20:00


  • 00:37 guy in front of me @deli buying gallon of water,2boxes of Immodium,4pack of toilet paper. feel so bad when some1s purchase is that revealing #
  • 02:35 u&me goin fishin in the dark. lyin on our back and a-countin the starrs, where the cool grass growwws #
  • 06:32 por que não posso mantenho pessoas que falam português na minha vida? #
  • 06:50 porque não consigo manter pessoas que falam português na minha vida? talvez porque o meu português sucks #
  • 16:03 i dont give a flying fuck about tiger woods or his personal problems. CNN just played a clip of him...cursing during golf. THAT'S NEWS?! #
  • 17:19 its freezing & im tired. where is my boyfriend? #
  • 17:44 desperately seeking someone to purr with #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
16th, 2009
20:02


  • 21:04 door jamb. jamb. jamb jamb jamb. jaymbrannan. jambalaya. jambaica. jambin to the oldies. godjambed #
  • 21:16 is #nocleanfeed real, or just a rumor? is Australia really gonna Nazi it up like that? #
  • 21:31 after my last visit there, im not surprised. they love rules&restrictions over there. thats what happens when u start a colony as a jail? :/ #
  • 21:39 @davidsyd "culture of legislation" - well put! #
  • 01:17 #disregard #thisisjustspam #
  • 02:18 i feel so sick. no sleep, all licorice. #
  • 04:10 im not awake, im not awake, im not awake *click*click*click* #
  • 06:49 2 nights in a row, unable to sleep at all...when did sleep itself become the impossible dream? #
  • 17:25 i feel like a pocketful of sunshine would burn a hold right through your pants...? #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
15th, 2009
20:02


  • 20:29 what exactly does one find when opening a "whorebag"? condoms? lipstick? #
  • 22:32 i wanna cry when they air episodes of Family Guy where they used substitute voice actors. is that wrong? #
  • 00:47 i want to go to turkey #
  • 04:50 Old Navy Jingle Jammies for $7. if i wasnt suicidal before, i am now. #
  • 14:44 startling realization. i can think of at least 13 starbucks within 10 blocks of my home. #
  • 16:48 only in staten island would someone trade a phone for shoes. tinyurl.com/shoesth #
  • 18:00 i wish i had health insurance so i could sign myself into an institution like winona ryder #
  • 19:00 i feel bad for friendster. they pioneered social networking, spent all this $$ on advertising, then got usurped in popularity 3 times over. #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
14th, 2009
20:01


  • 20:43 i think i have to delete some friends so i can Fan my music Page again...who wants to be on the chopping block??? :) #
  • 22:00 ive never really watched American Idol, but i certainly can't imagine wanting to watch it without Paula Abdul!!! #
  • 22:01 @KyleMacPhamous <3 #
  • 22:05 @KyleMacPhamous i was being discreet lol #
  • 00:04 hyperventilation nation #
  • 02:59 i like people who can laugh at themselves #
  • 03:29 ok im giving up all food except listerine strips startinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng NOW! #
  • 12:03 yay!! im finally back in my own club!! #
  • 13:07 am i the only one who finds the avatar characters a little creepy? #
  • 13:43 omg i want to be this girl so bad!! tinyurl.com/perfectgoddess #
  • 18:44 i would like to take this time out to thank salmon for providing us with its smoked self. truly a selfless, kind, & delicious contribution. #
  • 19:02 i cant tell if there's a fight happening on my floor or if someone is simply fighting with themself. it's very tyler durden around here. #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
13th, 2009
20:01


  • 22:40 yay seamlessweb.com!! ropa vieja, arroz e frijoles, e tamale cubano viene a mi casaaaaaaaaaaaaa #
  • 22:55 @JoseBrightside yo no se! #
  • 23:22 tamales in cuba are way different than the tamales we eat in texas #
  • 02:12 just watched "Man on Wire" - had vertigo the whole time but...wow. i <3 the French xo #
  • 13:38 i feel coffee & stroopwafels coming on #
  • 14:24 NAAA(american idol growl)AARWHALLLS, NAAARWHALS, SWIMMIN IN DE OCEAN...CAUZIN A COMMOTION, CUZ THEY R SO AWESOMMMME, NAAARWHALS NAARWHALS... #
  • 15:14 i wish i were rich so i could fly to SLC tonight just to eat at Red Iguana #
  • 15:45 "block" is the internet's best feature <3 #
  • 17:14 omfg i accidentally removed myself on my phone from being a Fan of my Page & now Facebook wont let me add myself back!! i hate u facebook! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
12th, 2009
20:01


  • 22:21 i wish i could go to a pauline pisano/sarah mackechnie/danica dora concert tonight. that's what i need. #
  • 00:27 can i become a narwhal and move to Greenland? #
  • 01:36 do i talk like alicia silverstone with a mouthful of sausages? :( #
  • 01:52 its completely impossible to gain weight from frozen yogurt. ...right? #
  • 02:55 organic chocolate syrup tastes like a chain link fence #
  • 04:34 donde esta mi vato #
  • 05:09 inappropriate poll time!! how many people on your friends list have you slept with? be honest! (obviously i cant play since mine is...huge) #
  • 05:13 now hands we all know facebook has a 5000 limit. RT @HansdeKruijf 1,456,879,543,120 #
  • 05:15 laury, you lie. that is not the cleavage of a good girl! RT @lauryb77 sorry to disappoint you for me it's none. Xox #
  • 05:16 hurt too much, had to stop? RT @macleanbrendan 6.5. And to anyone on my list wondering what this number means. No need investigate. #
  • 05:17 either your answer or your photo are fake. they cant both be real RT @stigblog two is, I think, my answer... #
  • 05:22 @JudeStone im SOOOOOOOO happy to see you participating up in ur london tree!! #
  • 16:54 i woke up today and am a narwhal!! dreams really do come true #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
11th, 2009
20:01


  • 22:41 where is my ESL lover? #
  • 02:42 20% of ALL sales on jaybrannan.bandcamp.com in 2009 will go to AIDS Research Alliance - tinyurl.com/jayxmas #
  • 06:24 so if you don't have a disposal, it's wrong to mash a bunch of food down the drain in ur sink, right? #
  • 06:40 @rdlbr lurv! #
  • 15:50 dear god,pls help this selfish selfish country stop spending $$on war &start spending it on making healthcare available 2its citizens. pls! #
  • 16:55 what is a "jingle horse"? #
  • 17:39 will i ever get to live in a quiet apartment building that isn't full of 24-hour shrieking schizophrenics? :( #
  • 18:32 big thanks, donation to AIDS research, latest youtubes...all in today's newsletter: jaybrannan.com/news.html #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
10th, 2009
20:02


  • 20:35 thas jus ma baybee daydee, thas jus ma baybeh dayudeh, thas jus ma bayba daydeh, thas jus mah bayubah dayudeee #
  • 23:42 anyone tried Google Chrome for Mac yet? #
  • 00:34 um someone email me when Google Chrome for Mac gets basic functionality (ability to edit/organize bookmarks, e.g.). uninstall. #
  • 13:18 some1 bring me coffee-but dont look@me or try 2start a conversation. &bring a pastry that is not 2 complicated but will keep me from barfing #
  • 18:12 i just took a "which character from Buffy are you" test and came out as....Glorificus?! (the Glory/Ben God(dess) character from Season 5) ?? #
  • 19:23 just took The Death Test. i die from heart attack at age 76. that is WAY too far away. #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
9th, 2009
20:02


  • 06:12 we live in such a stupid world full of dumb shits. i hate it here. tinyurl.com/y85j73n #
  • 06:17 @PJDeBoy lol not "ath" ... why r u awake? wait, why am *I* awake?! #
  • 07:03 7am and still awake....tell me whyeeeeee. time chayeeeeeenge #
  • 07:53 sore throat coming on. probly from the ppl on both sides of me on the plane coughing the WHOLE time without mouth coverage. thats terrorism. #
  • 08:16 ok the ambien i took 3 hrs ago is officially not powerful enough to ward off 14hr time differences. can i just get dressed & go eat waffles? #
  • 09:18 omg i have horrible hiccups now. wtf? world ending? #
  • 18:48 22 days, 0 hours, 11 minutes, and 28 seconds left to find a boyfriend. or next year's resolution becomes the same as last's. #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
8th, 2009
20:03


  • 13:10 Almost home. One more flight to go! #
  • 15:11 Little kid at airport: "daddy is our plane gonna go in the water? Is a bird gonna mess up our engine so we hafta go in the water?" Omg #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
7th, 2009
20:02


  • 20:31 hm i think i might feel a trip to the sydney aquarium & wildlife world coming on... #
  • 23:31 For the record, butterflies do not respond to clucking sounds #
  • 02:06 imagine the funniest, smartest, most clever, world-changing thing you've ever heard...and pretend like i just posted it #
  • 02:21 here. just so you can say you heard such brilliance straight from the "horse's" mouth: tinyurl.com/trubrilliance #
  • 08:32 @belindajaneling oh you'll have to wear much more than the bitch HAT to make up for this one. you're putting on the gown & the shoes. #
  • 18:48 i cant believe i took a 9-day trip to Australia & never once had to charge my electric toothbrush. Yay Sonicare! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
6th, 2009
20:03


  • 00:40 the Q Station ghost tour ive been DYING to go on is booked to capacity, and i can't go. i'm so mad im going to kill myself & haunt the tour #
  • 04:46 Eating kangaroo steak on Darling Harbor!! Feeling very international. #
  • 09:54 question of the day: why are australians obsessed with making foreigners believe in Drop Bears? #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
5th, 2009
20:01


  • 23:36 i love the word "bangs" (as in the anatomical section of the hair). its wild fun trashy & nostalgic all at the same time. #
  • 02:30 last show of the year!!! tonight!!! SYDNEY!!! see u in a few!!! xoxo #
  • 08:28 the "i suck at life" tour is officially OVER!!! thank you everyone everywhere for a really awesome crazy year!!!! its been unreal xo #
  • 10:24 im attacking the minibar candy like its my last night on earth. #
  • 17:13 whats with me always waking up after about 5.5 hrs of sleep? karma karma karma karma karma chameleoooonnnnnn #
  • 18:56 this woman is awesome. its nice to know theres at least 1 intelligent person in the world. thank u Diane. tinyurl.com/ontherealtip #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
4th, 2009
20:01


  • 21:41 Oh god. TERRIFYING landing into sydney. Plummeted down like mad, then had to pull steeply back up and go around again!!! I'm barfing #
  • 22:40 is it weird that the first thing i do when i check into a hotel room is close the blackout curtains? #
  • 01:21 i <3 bubble tea #
  • 01:27 @sosodave omg how did u know #
  • 01:29 i feel like there should be some sort of fun game to play on twitter #
  • 01:38 i just plugged my mac plug + Aus adapter in2 the wall socket & experienced full out fire explosion like a P!nk concert! almost lost my hand #
  • 01:42 @jacedj i have the adapter, it blew up anyway. ive been using it all week, it was the socket #
  • 02:16 just found inspiration for the perfect stage name: Armitage Shanks. omg its awesome. is it bad if i saw it on a toilet? :/ #
  • 08:44 Armitage Shanks says: thanks every1 in Sydney tonight!! 1 more Sydney show tomorrow/saturday @ supper club. last show 4 a good long while! #
  • 09:23 i want chicken noodle soup again from the korean place, but im too embarrassed to keep going in & buying the same thing :/ #
  • 09:32 im a slut for noodles #
  • 09:58 someone please brush my goddamn teeth. i can barely move my muscles enough to type this. #
  • 19:01 the "i suck at life" tour officially concludes tonight in SYDNEY!! get ur tickets b4 they're gone!! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
3rd, 2009
20:02


  • 20:42 Melbourne has Dyson AirBlades!!!! I'm sold #
  • 23:10 i play 2NIGHT n MELBOURNE @Toff n Town! if you dont come you might b killed by the Poison-Billed Roogapus :( Toff is the only safe harbor :( #
  • 05:10 Going on soon in melbourne.......anorexia nervosa minus the anorexia :/ #
  • 08:21 thanks so much to everyone in melbourne!!!! xo next 2 stops: SYDNEY & SYDNEY #
  • 08:55 lets have some fun, this beat is sick. i wanna take a ride on ur crack rock stick #
  • 17:34 the "i suck at life" tour hits the skies once again...tonight: SYDNEY @ the supper club #
  • 18:27 On the way to Melbourne airport. Cab driver has been texting the whole time. May or may not survive xo #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
2nd, 2009
20:02


  • 21:42 Well QANTAS SUCKS &wont allow my guitar, but ran into @siamusic &Oli the cello player from "goddamned" on my flight! #
  • 22:35 And of course its pouring rain in BRISBANE as soon as I touched down. Sorry guys, I have really bad karma :/ #
  • 00:31 they have big lemons in australia #
  • 02:07 i wonder if there's time to get lipo b4 the show tonight? #
  • 02:41 omg i just got really nervous #
  • 09:17 thanks every1 in brisbane!! next stop: MELBOURNE!! earrrrrly flight blech #
  • 09:36 @scott_piro i did in fact say shalom #
  • 09:40 @jdsamson how weird that sia & i were on the same flight today?!!? #
  • 17:48 So today QANTAS allowed my guitar on board....but confiscated...my coffee!! Where the hell am I? #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
December
1st, 2009
20:01


  • 03:22 Looking at the sydney opera house across the water as the sun goes down...waiting for my ghost tour to begin!!! Haaaaaaa!!!! <3 #
  • 09:16 Omfg there's something flying around my hotel room that's bigger than a goddamn dragon. What if it paralyzes me and eats my young?! #
  • 17:57 ok "mates"-headed2 BRISBANE 4 my 1st show TONIGHT!! PLS leav poisonous snakes/insects/arachnids at home-they r NOT permitted @ the venue xo #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
30th, 2009
20:01


  • 00:17 um is it halloween here or do judges still wear wigs in australia? #
  • 05:24 oy hoype eet duzint rine tewmowroyuh soy oy keen goy ohn a sheednay goyst toohr!! #
  • 06:30 Dear Oz-sorry about the weather-Evry time I go somewhere it turns windy rainy&cold :/ I'm like fairuza balk without the magic #
  • 19:32 was just doing sit-ups &realized i was simultaneously holding an open,half-eaten cadbury twirl n my rt hand. what a perfect metaphor4my life #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
29th, 2009
20:01


  • 22:14 Well I made it..........to LA :/ 4 hrs here then 15.5 hrs to sydney.....boarding all rows on Ambien Flight 9 nonstop service to Thrombosia! #
  • 23:03 @albinokid "albino"? no way you're as pale as me #
  • 23:16 "gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna buy me a rainbowwwwww" -meg griffin #
  • 23:33 omg i think my baja fresh is coming back up :/ #
  • 16:04 Oim een Owshtrahlyah! #
  • 17:51 the Customs/Quarantine people almost made me cry...again. fucking nasty racist bitch. #
  • 18:53 i would give anything to be reese witherspoon #
  • 19:50 i like how all my slutty fans assumed i wanted 2b reese 4all the men shes been with. believe it r not-i just want 2b reese cuz shes awesome! #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
28th, 2009
20:01



  • 10:56 traveling for the next billion hours...on my way to Oz! #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
27th, 2009
20:01


  • 22:34 i miss red lobster :( #
  • 23:00 tonight im trying Papa John's. even tho they won't make thin crust pizza in a size smaller than Large. #
  • 23:08 @jmatt17 you're not! #
  • 23:53 omg no wonder its so damn hot in here, my a/c has been on the "fan" setting for like a week (my apt is wildly overheated) #
  • 00:39 @jeremy646 don't be fooled. the food in NYC sucks. #
  • 01:11 i dont know how to tell you this, but.....billie jean. is not my love. #
  • 04:56 i just got panicky. what if AUSTRALIA hates me?! #
  • 06:03 non riesco a dormire, e ho una lezione italiano domani! (at the crack of 1pm!!) :/ #
  • 14:31 desidero un ragazzo italiano simpatico e depresso per amare #
  • 15:59 i just ate a spring roll in the elevator. it was SO awkward, and i'm sorry. #
  • 16:18 siete i slutti #
  • 17:56 i <3 giovanni ribisi #
  • 19:04 watching The Simpsons and it feels strangely dated. is this what it feels like to get old? :/ #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
26th, 2009
20:01


  • 20:49 because of seamlessweb.com, i am never leaving home again. yay!! #
  • 21:57 i like dolly parton #
  • 23:05 IMPORTANT IMPORTANT VERY IMPT POLL: 1)plain cake batter ice cream (my usual) or 2)birthday cake remix creation (amazing or gross?) ? #
  • 00:29 tru that RT @Kerrimariesmith Ill see ur patriotic redneck playlist&raise you1angry lesbian folk compilation (@jaybrannan inculded obviously) #
  • 01:41 is afraid he MIGHT not have an actual future... #
  • 03:12 just watched my cranberries video again &, when she took my cd, squealed for 40 seconds straight, like a stepped-on puppy frozen in time #
  • 03:16 @mrbluebird16 omg amazing #
  • 04:30 i cant believe United Airlines operates a 15.5 hr flight b/w LA & Sydney with no in-seat power or entertainment. hello 1970. hello Ambien. #
  • 16:56 things im grateful for: Red Lobster being open on Thanksgiving Day!! #
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November
25th, 2009
20:01


  • 21:26 how can a mouth rinse say "alcohol free" on the front when it's #1 inactive ingredient is "benzyl alcohol"? #
  • 22:20 shoo be doo be doo wop, i overdid it at the mouthwash shop #
  • 22:45 does every1 have their awesome NEW (yet) "USED" tshirt? cuz they're all made up & shipping out... yayeeeee jaybrannanstore.com #
  • 22:59 @mizinhah yes we do! #
  • 23:11 @DerekHale yup! i am. maybe moreso :) #
  • 23:58 Ruhel began custom-making my order at 11:54 PM!!!! #
  • 01:08 procrastination station. 10 mins. just 10! ustream.tv/channel/jaybrannan #
  • 03:10 urrbody likes a good twitty fuck #
  • 15:21 do only bad people eat waffles? :/ #
  • 16:50 goody wimmer is the devil's bitch! #
  • 19:27 just did a slew of phone interviews for my AUSTRALIAN tour dates NEXT WEEK!! do u have ur tickets? jaybrannan.com #
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November
24th, 2009
20:01


  • 21:02 can someone please open a coldstone creamery in my building? #
  • 21:08 @Andrew_Eric cake batter cake batter and more cake batter!!!! #
  • 00:07 can u microwave those round to-go tins with the rims you push down with your thumbs around the edge of the cardboard or plastic top? #
  • 02:44 ciao! buona sera. come ti chiami? mi chiamo jay. piacere. il piacere e mio. di dove sei? sono di new york. arrivaderci! #
  • 02:54 @ic4ro haha thanks for the corrections. my keyboard doesnt have accents :( #
  • 13:14 @ifUseekCameron lol looks pretty accurate #
  • 18:03 do all brasilians love steroids, or just the ones in nyc? :p #
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November
23rd, 2009
20:02


  • 20:40 TONIGHT'S TOP STORY: chemically imbalanced loner of a lover seeks same for 1st relationship in 8 years...more after the break #
  • 17:52 #undermedicated #needmacaroni #
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November
22nd, 2009
20:01


  • 20:59 i'd be so awesome as the "before" photo in a paxil campaign #
  • 23:14 dear myself: you are going to be alone 4ever. accept it. sincerely signed, yourself. #
  • 01:07 will i go to hell for making spaghetti at 1am? someone pleeeeease do my laundry #
  • 01:40 my 1st dinner was terrible, so...i just ordered a 2nd :/ i <3 seamlessweb.com! #
  • 01:46 @kayla95 happy bday!! #
  • 02:19 1st dinner was tasteless, 2nd was pure salt & oil...trashed both. i luv that i can eat twice but only actually consume 1 or 2 calories. #
  • 04:22 how is it that ive been on justin tv for like 3 hours & may wong hasnt shown up? #
  • 14:13 i remember running through the wet grass, falling a step behind, both of us never tiring, desperately wanting..... #
  • 17:14 i just slept for 12 hours. oops #
  • 17:19 wait i wanna try my 1st hash tag RT @jaybrannan i just slept for 12 hours. oops #chemicalimbalance #
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November
21st, 2009
20:01


  • 21:09 the time has come. the cranberries vlog: & DOLORES HELD MY CD!!!! WESTSIEEEEED!! tinyurl.com/perfectperfect #
  • 03:06 just in case anyone thought laxative tea was a handy tool for cleansing...it's not. it's an incredibly painful torture device. steer clear. #
  • 15:33 the joys of manhattan living: ALWAYS barf on the streets on saturday morning #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
20th, 2009
20:01



  • 16:14 i need a cherry coke zero in a can with a straw SO bad. does any1 cay-heh-hayre, does any1 cay-heh-hayre, do do do do, do do do do #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
19th, 2009
20:01


  • 21:53 Holy jesus I just gave dolores oriordan a copy of in living cover while she was singing ode to my family #
  • 23:15 ugh i cant believe i have to get my computer back from the apple store b4 i can make my video :( :( :( #
  • 00:54 cranberries the prequel: tinyurl.com/crancrans #
  • 00:58 @Lofgom no way!! im total trash haha #
  • 18:52 dear everyone, no its not me in the D&G commercial or campaign. if it is, i was in a blackout & never got the paycheck. #
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November
18th, 2009
20:01


  • 00:39 poll: nook or kindle 2? #
  • 04:29 oh weird, "christmas really sucks" has been in the top singer/songwriter albums on iTunes all this time & i had no idea it was up already :D #
  • 12:08 i wander as i wander out under the skyyyyy how jesus the savior was sent forrrrrth to diiiie #
  • 14:19 and they alll gooo marching...down. to the ground. to get out. of the rain, boom boom boom, boom boom boom boom #
  • 14:29 still surprised Xmas Really Sux is #11 singer/songwriter album on iTunes, since i never told any1 it was there (cuz i didn't know!) #
  • 15:44 im like hyperventilating & bouncing around my room just thinking about The Cranberries in a few hours. i hope i die right after #
  • 16:00 @MarcyTanter i used tunecore, but there's no guarantee as to when it goes on sale #
  • 16:01 @ifUseekCameron that would depend 100% on the details, the people, the discussions - record deals have loooootss of facets to them :) #
  • 16:34 i think i just showered twice b/c i was so busy daydreaming about The Cranberries i couldnt remember if i used the soap yet or not! #
  • 18:22 I hope they have paramedics here cuz I'm probably going to faint when the cranberries come on #
  • 19:27 I'm riiiiiiight in front of the barricade!!! I'm like shaking and crying and it hasn't even started yet #
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November
17th, 2009
20:01


  • 20:29 how come Friends Exposed app just keeps giving me the same questions & people? is Social Interview better? i cant get it to install! #
  • 23:07 my new Xmas song can be urs...TODAY!! pls send the link to every1 on earth!! jaybrannan.bandcamp.com #
  • 01:29 @KassieJoeJonas happy bday xo #
  • 01:41 i haven't ingested an actual nutrient since i was like 11 #
  • 12:07 do u & EVERYONE u know all have my new xmas song yet? if not, ur a bad person :( hurry, fix it! jaybrannan.bandcamp.com #
  • 14:20 After 2 months of wasting my time & energy, verizon dsl finally sends a tech. In 10 mins he says "yup ur wiring is bad" & replaces it. Fags #
  • 14:39 And I opened the damn microwave myself and didn't see anything. I cleaned all accessible surfaces and used an entire can of compressed air #
  • 16:11 thx4buying my xmas song! &4 the xtra donations! got some super depress-o news 2day that i dont want2share, but ur generosity is heartwarming #
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November
16th, 2009
20:02


  • 20:48 Can someone pls explain why my face is so broken out? I didn't poison my body with Accutane 5 yrs ago for nothing. #
  • 23:23 goddammit, i always wait too late to get food & then realize its sunday & even the chinese place closes early. dammit i dont want dominos #
  • 23:39 ok done. eyes on the domino's tracker. #
  • 23:49 omg. "Yaranaeore," is the name of my delivery person. and yes, according to Domino's Tracker, his/her name ends in a comma. #
  • 00:42 now i want candy. the next time some1 laughs @me 4 saying i should go 2 overeaters anon, i have 1000s of witnesses that im not exaggerating #
  • 01:07 do u think i look like sinead o'connor's doppleganger? #
  • 01:24 im watching videos of The Cranberries reunion tour & like sobbing. maybe i shouldnt go! i dont know if i can handle it...like, emotionally! #
  • 17:29 my new italian teacher is awesome!! #
  • 17:42 Duh of course shes a girl. Im looking for someone to TEACH me something, not to be as flaky & selfish & useless as possible #
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November
15th, 2009
20:02


  • 21:26 buh-rakes mah hawrt #
  • 21:56 im really excited 4 every1 to hear the studio version of Christmas Really Sucks on tuesday :)~ (on jaybrannan.bandcamp.com) #
  • 03:30 eating frosting from a can / securing my place in hell #
  • 05:14 dear jay: your request for love has been denied. pls proceed directly to eternal loneliness-do not pass companionship-do not collect 200 $s #
  • 05:36 i wish i had a photo of my Eldan crush #
  • 15:38 ooh i wiishh i wass a punk rockrrr with flowerrss in ma hurrr/frm 77-69 revolution was in the urrr/i was born 2L8,2 a world that doesnt kurr #
  • 16:42 kinda wants to walk around amsterdam again and follow all the hot straight guy tourists #
  • 17:59 im gonna rent a hotel room & arrange a big orgy just so i can be blasting Point of Grace when everybody gets there hahahaha #
  • 19:11 if ur n NYC this week go see my bff from high school (yes we were prom dates) n a heartbreaking & inspiring play tinyurl.com/nycplay #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
14th, 2009
20:02


  • 00:26 i need ur smize video responses!!! PLEASE!! i need them, i can't breathe, do it for the children tinyurl.com/tyrajanks #
  • 02:24 i love your smizing videos!!! they keep me warm in a world that's frigid #
  • 15:38 4 a mere $150, jay brannan is now running off a new self-installed 500GB hard drive!yay! macsales.com-lurv. (pls dont crash, pls dont crash) #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
13th, 2009
20:03


  • 01:27 craving sweet n sour twizzlers. but i already bought out the stock at CVS last week :( #
  • 01:44 there's no way Duane Reade carries expanding foam in a can, right? #
  • 01:51 @theinfamoustrav you've clearly never tried to ask a DR employee a question #
  • 02:00 inappropriate poll: not counting the country you're from, from what country have you had the most sex partners? #
  • 02:09 what a fucking fun game! can inappropriate polls be part of the regular jay brannan online experience? #
  • 02:15 @louispeitzman haha u got sucked in!! so to speak #
  • 02:55 kind of surprised not a single person has the same answer as me #
  • 03:17 israel :x #
  • 03:30 omg im totally jabba the slut!! someone bring me twizzlers #
  • 04:00 smize! ur on candid camera. & i'm a fashion icon. tinyurl.com/tyrajaynks #
  • 13:13 i want to see your response videos!! show me your smize!!! tinyurl.com/tyrajaynks #
  • 14:49 why only 1 video response showing me a smize? dont you people fucking care! give back to the modeling community NOW! tinyurl.com/tyrajaynks #
  • 15:21 after all that trouble finding the textbook, i now have to find a new italian teacher. the fun never stops. #
  • 16:43 How come there's not a single girl behind the Apple Genius bar? #
  • 17:10 Also why do they force you to make an appointment 3 days in advance, yet here I am still sitting here waiting, 1 hour after my appt time... #
  • 17:58 y does every company put u through the utmost in inconvenience just to tell you they can't help you in the end? Next time ill just use tape #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
12th, 2009
20:02


  • 21:36 wish I was in madrid #
  • 23:52 "omg i'm like jabba the slut!" -aaron wimmer #
  • 01:55 i think a roach had babies in the upper regions of my built-in oven/microwave. fuck depression&loneliness, THIS is a problem i cant handle. #
  • 03:10 i dont know what to do. i saw a mom roach go in the top & when i pulled my ramen out there was a baby in it :( its like built in to the wall #
  • 03:26 roach - in - ramen. must - end - life. #
  • 04:04 im like kate beckinsale in Brokedown Palace!! only i never would have signed a statement written in Thai #
  • 12:23 I could never work at the Cinnabon store. I don't have anywhere near the amount of willpower. #
  • 18:50 Yay got my nice new italian textbook! Barnes&Noble-free same day delivery in manhattan!! Lurv #
  • 19:08 narrator on Snapped: "michael's most bombastic piece, however, had NOTHING to do with music..." bombastic piece? #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
11th, 2009
20:02


  • 21:30 i hate when family guy & king of the hill aren't on. why do they bother with other stuff :( #
  • 23:24 poll: Western Digital, Seagate, or Hitachi? #
  • 00:10 hm Seagate&WD came out pretty even, maybe a few more votes for WD. im leaning toward seagate just cuz it's cheaper AND comes with a toolkit! #
  • 00:17 p.s. im looking at internal drives, not external ones. at least i didn't bother you with the 5400 vs 7200 rpm question #
  • 00:20 @theinfamoustrav hard drive. not memory. :) #
  • 00:21 @GR3G0RYx thanks for all the advice...i trust the genius haha #
  • 04:10 ok i got the western digital. ill end up exchanging it 4 something else 3-4 times, then just buying a new computer. its kind of...a pattern. #
  • 15:11 chase ATMs r tha bomb #
  • 17:38 goddammit its chipotLAY not chipolTAY #
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kill some evil sons-of-bitches
November
10th, 2009
20:02


  • 14:15 here it is! the latest from Loveless Angeless Musickish Jayby. if u dont order 1, an angel loses its wings :( tinyurl.com/usedtee #
  • 17:00 has anyone ever done their own macbook hard drive upgrade? im in desperate need of more space & cant justify the price of a new mac #
  • 17:13 ugh should i just buy a new one? mines full/doesnt close properly/case cracking/old USB&OS...i'll always be a slave to credit card debt :( #
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