kill some evil sons-of-bitches

20:35 thas jus ma baybee daydee, thas jus ma baybeh dayudeh, thas jus ma bayba daydeh, thas jus mah bayubah dayudeee #
23:42 anyone tried Google Chrome for Mac yet? #
00:34 um someone email me when Google Chrome for Mac gets basic functionality (ability to edit/organize bookmarks, e.g.). uninstall. #
13:18 some1 bring me coffee-but dont look@me or try 2start a conversation. &bring a pastry that is not 2 complicated but will keep me from barfing #
18:12 i just took a "which character from Buffy are you" test and came out as....Glorificus?! (the Glory/Ben God(dess) character from Season 5) ?? #
19:23 just took The Death Test. i die from heart attack at age 76. that is WAY too far away. #

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06:12 we live in such a stupid world full of dumb shits. i hate it here. tinyurl.com/y85j73n #
06:17 @PJDeBoy lol not "ath" ... why r u awake? wait, why am *I* awake?! #
07:03 7am and still awake....tell me whyeeeeee. time chayeeeeeenge #
07:53 sore throat coming on. probly from the ppl on both sides of me on the plane coughing the WHOLE time without mouth coverage. thats terrorism. #
08:16 ok the ambien i took 3 hrs ago is officially not powerful enough to ward off 14hr time differences. can i just get dressed & go eat waffles? #
09:18 omg i have horrible hiccups now. wtf? world ending? #
18:48 22 days, 0 hours, 11 minutes, and 28 seconds left to find a boyfriend. or next year's resolution becomes the same as last's. #

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13:10 Almost home. One more flight to go! #
15:11 Little kid at airport: "daddy is our plane gonna go in the water? Is a bird gonna mess up our engine so we hafta go in the water?" Omg #

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20:31 hm i think i might feel a trip to the sydney aquarium & wildlife world coming on... #
23:31 For the record, butterflies do not respond to clucking sounds #
02:06 imagine the funniest, smartest, most clever, world-changing thing you've ever heard...and pretend like i just posted it #
02:21 here. just so you can say you heard such brilliance straight from the "horse's" mouth: tinyurl.com/trubrilliance #
08:32 @belindajaneling oh you'll have to wear much more than the bitch HAT to make up for this one. you're putting on the gown & the shoes. #
18:48 i cant believe i took a 9-day trip to Australia & never once had to charge my electric toothbrush. Yay Sonicare! #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches

00:40 the Q Station ghost tour ive been DYING to go on is booked to capacity, and i can't go. i'm so mad im going to kill myself & haunt the tour #
04:46 Eating kangaroo steak on Darling Harbor!! Feeling very international. #
09:54 question of the day: why are australians obsessed with making foreigners believe in Drop Bears? #

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23:36 i love the word "bangs" (as in the anatomical section of the hair). its wild fun trashy & nostalgic all at the same time. #
02:30 last show of the year!!! tonight!!! SYDNEY!!! see u in a few!!! xoxo #
08:28 the "i suck at life" tour is officially OVER!!! thank you everyone everywhere for a really awesome crazy year!!!! its been unreal xo #
10:24 im attacking the minibar candy like its my last night on earth. #
17:13 whats with me always waking up after about 5.5 hrs of sleep? karma karma karma karma karma chameleoooonnnnnn #
18:56 this woman is awesome. its nice to know theres at least 1 intelligent person in the world. thank u Diane. tinyurl.com/ontherealtip #

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21:41 Oh god. TERRIFYING landing into sydney. Plummeted down like mad, then had to pull steeply back up and go around again!!! I'm barfing #
22:40 is it weird that the first thing i do when i check into a hotel room is close the blackout curtains? #
01:21 i <3 bubble tea #
01:27 @sosodave omg how did u know #
01:29 i feel like there should be some sort of fun game to play on twitter #
01:38 i just plugged my mac plug + Aus adapter in2 the wall socket & experienced full out fire explosion like a P!nk concert! almost lost my hand #
01:42 @jacedj i have the adapter, it blew up anyway. ive been using it all week, it was the socket #
02:16 just found inspiration for the perfect stage name: Armitage Shanks. omg its awesome. is it bad if i saw it on a toilet? :/ #
08:44 Armitage Shanks says: thanks every1 in Sydney tonight!! 1 more Sydney show tomorrow/saturday @ supper club. last show 4 a good long while! #
09:23 i want chicken noodle soup again from the korean place, but im too embarrassed to keep going in & buying the same thing :/ #
09:32 im a slut for noodles #
09:58 someone please brush my goddamn teeth. i can barely move my muscles enough to type this. #
19:01 the "i suck at life" tour officially concludes tonight in SYDNEY!! get ur tickets b4 they're gone!! #

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20:42 Melbourne has Dyson AirBlades!!!! I'm sold #
23:10 i play 2NIGHT n MELBOURNE @Toff n Town! if you dont come you might b killed by the Poison-Billed Roogapus :( Toff is the only safe harbor :( #
05:10 Going on soon in melbourne.......anorexia nervosa minus the anorexia :/ #
08:21 thanks so much to everyone in melbourne!!!! xo next 2 stops: SYDNEY & SYDNEY #
08:55 lets have some fun, this beat is sick. i wanna take a ride on ur crack rock stick #
17:34 the "i suck at life" tour hits the skies once again...tonight: SYDNEY @ the supper club #
18:27 On the way to Melbourne airport. Cab driver has been texting the whole time. May or may not survive xo #

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21:42 Well QANTAS SUCKS &wont allow my guitar, but ran into @siamusic &Oli the cello player from "goddamned" on my flight! #
22:35 And of course its pouring rain in BRISBANE as soon as I touched down. Sorry guys, I have really bad karma :/ #
00:31 they have big lemons in australia #
02:07 i wonder if there's time to get lipo b4 the show tonight? #
02:41 omg i just got really nervous #
09:17 thanks every1 in brisbane!! next stop: MELBOURNE!! earrrrrly flight blech #
09:36 @scott_piro i did in fact say shalom #
09:40 @jdsamson how weird that sia & i were on the same flight today?!!? #
17:48 So today QANTAS allowed my guitar on board....but confiscated...my coffee!! Where the hell am I? #

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03:22 Looking at the sydney opera house across the water as the sun goes down...waiting for my ghost tour to begin!!! Haaaaaaa!!!! <3 #
09:16 Omfg there's something flying around my hotel room that's bigger than a goddamn dragon. What if it paralyzes me and eats my young?! #
17:57 ok "mates"-headed2 BRISBANE 4 my 1st show TONIGHT!! PLS leav poisonous snakes/insects/arachnids at home-they r NOT permitted @ the venue xo #

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00:17 um is it halloween here or do judges still wear wigs in australia? #
05:24 oy hoype eet duzint rine tewmowroyuh soy oy keen goy ohn a sheednay goyst toohr!! #
06:30 Dear Oz-sorry about the weather-Evry time I go somewhere it turns windy rainy&cold :/ I'm like fairuza balk without the magic #
19:32 was just doing sit-ups &realized i was simultaneously holding an open,half-eaten cadbury twirl n my rt hand. what a perfect metaphor4my life #

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22:14 Well I made it..........to LA :/ 4 hrs here then 15.5 hrs to sydney.....boarding all rows on Ambien Flight 9 nonstop service to Thrombosia! #
23:03 @albinokid "albino"? no way you're as pale as me #
23:16 "gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna buy me a rainbowwwwww" -meg griffin #
23:33 omg i think my baja fresh is coming back up :/ #
16:04 Oim een Owshtrahlyah! #
17:51 the Customs/Quarantine people almost made me cry...again. fucking nasty racist bitch. #
18:53 i would give anything to be reese witherspoon #
19:50 i like how all my slutty fans assumed i wanted 2b reese 4all the men shes been with. believe it r not-i just want 2b reese cuz shes awesome! #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches

10:56 traveling for the next billion hours...on my way to Oz! #

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22:34 i miss red lobster :( #
23:00 tonight im trying Papa John's. even tho they won't make thin crust pizza in a size smaller than Large. #
23:08 @jmatt17 you're not! #
23:53 omg no wonder its so damn hot in here, my a/c has been on the "fan" setting for like a week (my apt is wildly overheated) #
00:39 @jeremy646 don't be fooled. the food in NYC sucks. #
01:11 i dont know how to tell you this, but.....billie jean. is not my love. #
04:56 i just got panicky. what if AUSTRALIA hates me?! #
06:03 non riesco a dormire, e ho una lezione italiano domani! (at the crack of 1pm!!) :/ #
14:31 desidero un ragazzo italiano simpatico e depresso per amare #
15:59 i just ate a spring roll in the elevator. it was SO awkward, and i'm sorry. #
16:18 siete i slutti #
17:56 i <3 giovanni ribisi #
19:04 watching The Simpsons and it feels strangely dated. is this what it feels like to get old? :/ #

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20:49 because of seamlessweb.com, i am never leaving home again. yay!! #
21:57 i like dolly parton #
23:05 IMPORTANT IMPORTANT VERY IMPT POLL: 1)plain cake batter ice cream (my usual) or 2)birthday cake remix creation (amazing or gross?) ? #
00:29 tru that RT @Kerrimariesmith Ill see ur patriotic redneck playlist&raise you1angry lesbian folk compilation (@jaybrannan inculded obviously) #
01:41 is afraid he MIGHT not have an actual future... #
03:12 just watched my cranberries video again &, when she took my cd, squealed for 40 seconds straight, like a stepped-on puppy frozen in time #
03:16 @mrbluebird16 omg amazing #
04:30 i cant believe United Airlines operates a 15.5 hr flight b/w LA & Sydney with no in-seat power or entertainment. hello 1970. hello Ambien. #
16:56 things im grateful for: Red Lobster being open on Thanksgiving Day!! #

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21:26 how can a mouth rinse say "alcohol free" on the front when it's #1 inactive ingredient is "benzyl alcohol"? #
22:20 shoo be doo be doo wop, i overdid it at the mouthwash shop #
22:45 does every1 have their awesome NEW (yet) "USED" tshirt? cuz they're all made up & shipping out... yayeeeee jaybrannanstore.com #
22:59 @mizinhah yes we do! #
23:11 @DerekHale yup! i am. maybe moreso :) #
23:58 Ruhel began custom-making my order at 11:54 PM!!!! #
01:08 procrastination station. 10 mins. just 10! ustream.tv/channel/jaybrannan #
03:10 urrbody likes a good twitty fuck #
15:21 do only bad people eat waffles? :/ #
16:50 goody wimmer is the devil's bitch! #
19:27 just did a slew of phone interviews for my AUSTRALIAN tour dates NEXT WEEK!! do u have ur tickets? jaybrannan.com #

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21:02 can someone please open a coldstone creamery in my building? #
21:08 @Andrew_Eric cake batter cake batter and more cake batter!!!! #
00:07 can u microwave those round to-go tins with the rims you push down with your thumbs around the edge of the cardboard or plastic top? #
02:44 ciao! buona sera. come ti chiami? mi chiamo jay. piacere. il piacere e mio. di dove sei? sono di new york. arrivaderci! #
02:54 @ic4ro haha thanks for the corrections. my keyboard doesnt have accents :( #
13:14 @ifUseekCameron lol looks pretty accurate #
18:03 do all brasilians love steroids, or just the ones in nyc? :p #

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20:40 TONIGHT'S TOP STORY: chemically imbalanced loner of a lover seeks same for 1st relationship in 8 years...more after the break #
17:52 #undermedicated #needmacaroni #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches

20:59 i'd be so awesome as the "before" photo in a paxil campaign #
23:14 dear myself: you are going to be alone 4ever. accept it. sincerely signed, yourself. #
01:07 will i go to hell for making spaghetti at 1am? someone pleeeeease do my laundry #
01:40 my 1st dinner was terrible, so...i just ordered a 2nd :/ i <3 seamlessweb.com! #
01:46 @kayla95 happy bday!! #
02:19 1st dinner was tasteless, 2nd was pure salt & oil...trashed both. i luv that i can eat twice but only actually consume 1 or 2 calories. #
04:22 how is it that ive been on justin tv for like 3 hours & may wong hasnt shown up? #
14:13 i remember running through the wet grass, falling a step behind, both of us never tiring, desperately wanting..... #
17:14 i just slept for 12 hours. oops #
17:19 wait i wanna try my 1st hash tag RT @jaybrannan i just slept for 12 hours. oops #chemicalimbalance #

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21:09 the time has come. the cranberries vlog: & DOLORES HELD MY CD!!!! WESTSIEEEEED!! tinyurl.com/perfectperfect #
03:06 just in case anyone thought laxative tea was a handy tool for cleansing...it's not. it's an incredibly painful torture device. steer clear. #
15:33 the joys of manhattan living: ALWAYS barf on the streets on saturday morning #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches

16:14 i need a cherry coke zero in a can with a straw SO bad. does any1 cay-heh-hayre, does any1 cay-heh-hayre, do do do do, do do do do #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches

21:53 Holy jesus I just gave dolores oriordan a copy of in living cover while she was singing ode to my family #
23:15 ugh i cant believe i have to get my computer back from the apple store b4 i can make my video :( :( :( #
00:54 cranberries the prequel: tinyurl.com/crancrans #
00:58 @Lofgom no way!! im total trash haha #
18:52 dear everyone, no its not me in the D&G commercial or campaign. if it is, i was in a blackout & never got the paycheck. #

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00:39 poll: nook or kindle 2? #
04:29 oh weird, "christmas really sucks" has been in the top singer/songwriter albums on iTunes all this time & i had no idea it was up already :D #
12:08 i wander as i wander out under the skyyyyy how jesus the savior was sent forrrrrth to diiiie #
14:19 and they alll gooo marching...down. to the ground. to get out. of the rain, boom boom boom, boom boom boom boom #
14:29 still surprised Xmas Really Sux is #11 singer/songwriter album on iTunes, since i never told any1 it was there (cuz i didn't know!) #
15:44 im like hyperventilating & bouncing around my room just thinking about The Cranberries in a few hours. i hope i die right after #
16:00 @MarcyTanter i used tunecore, but there's no guarantee as to when it goes on sale #
16:01 @ifUseekCameron that would depend 100% on the details, the people, the discussions - record deals have loooootss of facets to them :) #
16:34 i think i just showered twice b/c i was so busy daydreaming about The Cranberries i couldnt remember if i used the soap yet or not! #
18:22 I hope they have paramedics here cuz I'm probably going to faint when the cranberries come on #
19:27 I'm riiiiiiight in front of the barricade!!! I'm like shaking and crying and it hasn't even started yet #

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20:29 how come Friends Exposed app just keeps giving me the same questions & people? is Social Interview better? i cant get it to install! #
23:07 my new Xmas song can be urs...TODAY!! pls send the link to every1 on earth!! jaybrannan.bandcamp.com #
01:29 @KassieJoeJonas happy bday xo #
01:41 i haven't ingested an actual nutrient since i was like 11 #
12:07 do u & EVERYONE u know all have my new xmas song yet? if not, ur a bad person :( hurry, fix it! jaybrannan.bandcamp.com #
14:20 After 2 months of wasting my time & energy, verizon dsl finally sends a tech. In 10 mins he says "yup ur wiring is bad" & replaces it. Fags #
14:39 And I opened the damn microwave myself and didn't see anything. I cleaned all accessible surfaces and used an entire can of compressed air #
16:11 thx4buying my xmas song! &4 the xtra donations! got some super depress-o news 2day that i dont want2share, but ur generosity is heartwarming #

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20:48 Can someone pls explain why my face is so broken out? I didn't poison my body with Accutane 5 yrs ago for nothing. #
23:23 goddammit, i always wait too late to get food & then realize its sunday & even the chinese place closes early. dammit i dont want dominos #
23:39 ok done. eyes on the domino's tracker. #
23:49 omg. "Yaranaeore," is the name of my delivery person. and yes, according to Domino's Tracker, his/her name ends in a comma. #
00:42 now i want candy. the next time some1 laughs @me 4 saying i should go 2 overeaters anon, i have 1000s of witnesses that im not exaggerating #
01:07 do u think i look like sinead o'connor's doppleganger? #
01:24 im watching videos of The Cranberries reunion tour & like sobbing. maybe i shouldnt go! i dont know if i can handle it...like, emotionally! #
17:29 my new italian teacher is awesome!! #
17:42 Duh of course shes a girl. Im looking for someone to TEACH me something, not to be as flaky & selfish & useless as possible #

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21:26 buh-rakes mah hawrt #
21:56 im really excited 4 every1 to hear the studio version of Christmas Really Sucks on tuesday :)~ (on jaybrannan.bandcamp.com) #
03:30 eating frosting from a can / securing my place in hell #
05:14 dear jay: your request for love has been denied. pls proceed directly to eternal loneliness-do not pass companionship-do not collect 200 $s #
05:36 i wish i had a photo of my Eldan crush #
15:38 ooh i wiishh i wass a punk rockrrr with flowerrss in ma hurrr/frm 77-69 revolution was in the urrr/i was born 2L8,2 a world that doesnt kurr #
16:42 kinda wants to walk around amsterdam again and follow all the hot straight guy tourists #
17:59 im gonna rent a hotel room & arrange a big orgy just so i can be blasting Point of Grace when everybody gets there hahahaha #
19:11 if ur n NYC this week go see my bff from high school (yes we were prom dates) n a heartbreaking & inspiring play tinyurl.com/nycplay #

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00:26 i need ur smize video responses!!! PLEASE!! i need them, i can't breathe, do it for the children tinyurl.com/tyrajanks #
02:24 i love your smizing videos!!! they keep me warm in a world that's frigid #
15:38 4 a mere $150, jay brannan is now running off a new self-installed 500GB hard drive!yay! macsales.com-lurv. (pls dont crash, pls dont crash) #

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01:27 craving sweet n sour twizzlers. but i already bought out the stock at CVS last week :( #
01:44 there's no way Duane Reade carries expanding foam in a can, right? #
01:51 @theinfamoustrav you've clearly never tried to ask a DR employee a question #
02:00 inappropriate poll: not counting the country you're from, from what country have you had the most sex partners? #
02:09 what a fucking fun game! can inappropriate polls be part of the regular jay brannan online experience? #
02:15 @louispeitzman haha u got sucked in!! so to speak #
02:55 kind of surprised not a single person has the same answer as me #
03:17 israel :x #
03:30 omg im totally jabba the slut!! someone bring me twizzlers #
04:00 smize! ur on candid camera. & i'm a fashion icon. tinyurl.com/tyrajaynks #
13:13 i want to see your response videos!! show me your smize!!! tinyurl.com/tyrajaynks #
14:49 why only 1 video response showing me a smize? dont you people fucking care! give back to the modeling community NOW! tinyurl.com/tyrajaynks #
15:21 after all that trouble finding the textbook, i now have to find a new italian teacher. the fun never stops. #
16:43 How come there's not a single girl behind the Apple Genius bar? #
17:10 Also why do they force you to make an appointment 3 days in advance, yet here I am still sitting here waiting, 1 hour after my appt time... #
17:58 y does every company put u through the utmost in inconvenience just to tell you they can't help you in the end? Next time ill just use tape #

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21:36 wish I was in madrid #
23:52 "omg i'm like jabba the slut!" -aaron wimmer #
01:55 i think a roach had babies in the upper regions of my built-in oven/microwave. fuck depression&loneliness, THIS is a problem i cant handle. #
03:10 i dont know what to do. i saw a mom roach go in the top & when i pulled my ramen out there was a baby in it :( its like built in to the wall #
03:26 roach - in - ramen. must - end - life. #
04:04 im like kate beckinsale in Brokedown Palace!! only i never would have signed a statement written in Thai #
12:23 I could never work at the Cinnabon store. I don't have anywhere near the amount of willpower. #
18:50 Yay got my nice new italian textbook! Barnes&Noble-free same day delivery in manhattan!! Lurv #
19:08 narrator on Snapped: "michael's most bombastic piece, however, had NOTHING to do with music..." bombastic piece? #

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21:30 i hate when family guy & king of the hill aren't on. why do they bother with other stuff :( #
23:24 poll: Western Digital, Seagate, or Hitachi? #
00:10 hm Seagate&WD came out pretty even, maybe a few more votes for WD. im leaning toward seagate just cuz it's cheaper AND comes with a toolkit! #
00:17 p.s. im looking at internal drives, not external ones. at least i didn't bother you with the 5400 vs 7200 rpm question #
00:20 @theinfamoustrav hard drive. not memory. :) #
00:21 @GR3G0RYx thanks for all the advice...i trust the genius haha #
04:10 ok i got the western digital. ill end up exchanging it 4 something else 3-4 times, then just buying a new computer. its kind of...a pattern. #
15:11 chase ATMs r tha bomb #
17:38 goddammit its chipotLAY not chipolTAY #

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14:15 here it is! the latest from Loveless Angeless Musickish Jayby. if u dont order 1, an angel loses its wings :( tinyurl.com/usedtee #
17:00 has anyone ever done their own macbook hard drive upgrade? im in desperate need of more space & cant justify the price of a new mac #
17:13 ugh should i just buy a new one? mines full/doesnt close properly/case cracking/old USB&OS...i'll always be a slave to credit card debt :( #

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22:53 why is drawing stuff on a computer so damn difficult. i feel like it should be able to just read & automatically manifest my thoughts. #
02:12 would u die if i were designing a new tshirt? im so Love Angel Music Baby without the love angels music and babies #
12:25 wake up wake up wake up it's tha first o tha monnnnnnnthhhhh so cash ur chex n come oooooonnnnn #
15:45 does anyone else check the inside of their shoes for roaches & spiders every single time they put them on? #
17:40 new song, new download (nov 17!), new tshirt (now!), new video, & coming soon to an australia near you: tinyurl.com/jaynewshit #
19:01 why did i order a new, unused Italian textbook, and it arrived all torn up with damage on the inside & outside covered in shiny black tape? #
19:16 would b so happy rite now if a plane passed over NYC raining down showers of cheese quesadillas (individually wrapped)&some fell n my window #
19:49 @emotionsmusic yeah but u have to constantly check the air all around you for bees #
19:54 i like how the cranberries announced a "south american" tour that ends in...........mexico #

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20:10 im moving to paris and going on a strictly street crepe diet #
01:41 mutual interest is a pipe dream #
03:03 my song "christmas really sucks" is coming out as a download-only single. who's excited? #
03:48 someday my family will come back for me & take me home to the planet Rambien #
03:52 RT @firemaplesong does the new single come with virtual razor blades? [omg i <3 u, of course] #
13:40 just had a nightmare that i was put on a Bombardier Dash 8 Q400 with no toilet & windows across the back like a schoolbus for a 3.5hr flight #
14:58 im gonna write a book about my life and call it Unrequited Effort #

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01:20 grateful #
02:18 this status is a placeholder for my actual status, which i'm keeping to myself #
02:39 is it weird that im downloadng contemporary christian music i used 2luv from itunes? there were sum fucking good christian singers n the 90s #
02:50 omg i think im making a contemporary christian album circa 1995. try and stop me! #
16:21 she'll burn that bridge, & build a house, & swallow the smoke in her mouth...then obviously she'll die, cuz smoke is poisonous. #
17:34 Treadmilling to DC Talk and Point of Grace hahhahahahahahahahahahhaah #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches

05:46 take me to eurodisney #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches

15:52 Sitting in commercial audition waiting rooms listening to guys talk about how well their hair takes color...makes me laugh #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches

15:12 this girl was asking her mom if they could buy M&M toilet paper this time. isn't it always M&M by the time ur finished? #

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kill some evil sons-of-bitches

20:30 tomorrow i return to my 2nd home.........the airport :/ #
21:45 its cold up in this piece #
23:08 verizon has jay brannan ringback tones! (if someone calls u they hear my song instead of ring sounds) cuhrazy! tinyurl.com/verizonjay #
23:42 hi @siamusic !! i didnt know u were on twitter! havent seen u in agessss. let's play apples 2 apples again someday when we're all in townski #
23:49 @jdsamson ur better off. it's your chance to switch to cetaphil (gentle skin cleanser NOT daily face wash, unless u have oil factory face) #
00:08 i will be performing in Canada this week under the name Maple McFrostbyte #
00:37 @siamusic how would you feel about brananagrams? #
00:46 this is my 1000th tweet. here's to 1000 more pearls of darkness xo #
01:54 i <3 drew barrymore #
02:31 myspace just forced me to create a myspace email address. what the hell myspace, stop being so annoying, you hardly ever work anyway #
14:43 There is so much coughing and sniffing on this train, there's no way in hell I'm going to avoid getting sick on this trip...again #
15:00 there's another word for positive thinking: "delusion" #
15:37 I think I've lost my mind. I just used hand sanitizer on a plastic spoon to prep it for use #
17:16 overheard on a phone conversation: "when u talk like a mensch, then we'll have something to talk about"/is it wrong that that made me laugh? #
17:25 Flight delayed due to a "jetway crisis". Again with the terminology. #

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23:17 omg something soooo wild n crazy just happened. soo crazy, its was so so crazy. omg crazy. but i can't tell you what it is. #
00:15 Omg you would not fucking BELIEVE what just happened. You would not believe it! #
01:51 should i get a flu vaccine tomorrow? i've had them b4, why is everyone saying they're bad this year? just being dramatic? #
03:31 oh wait, you mean Depo-Provera is NOT the flu vaccine? oh fuck #
03:41 where the hell is my tattooed irish sweet potato #
04:19 do u think Fairuza Balk would go to Six Flags with me? #
19:18 is it weird that im terrified of heights but LOVE needles & having blood drawn? #

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21:32 I did it. I had to. Ate at Red Lobster. I even waited an hour for the table. #
04:03 i miss red lobster #
04:52 just for the record, if i didnt want to be an actor, i would be covered in tattoos. covered. #
14:07 it's not that i'm not beautiful, i'm just not beautiful to him. or him. or him. #
14:35 whoever invented the Airbus 380 needs a good talking to, a slap on the wrist, and possibly a penile implant #

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22:37 why are there so few human beings with souls? #
01:27 toronto/montreal/nashville/atlanta/orlando/miami/salt lake/denver/phoenix/vancouver/on my way!!! jaybrannan.com/i suck @ life tour continues #
13:01 would it be too much to ask for a little irish cream in my coffee? #
17:44 i think i have to leave NYC, but i dont know how or where. i love NYC, but if i stay here i will be alone forever. #

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22:25 statusless #
00:39 australia/canada/usa - all shows on sale & coming up quick!! (my last shows 4 awhile, so get ur tix or 4ever hold ur peace) jaybrannan.com #
03:26 um depressed people probably should not try Gabapentin. just when you thought your body chemistry couldnt get lower... #
13:08 is it possible to become Portuguese by insemination? apparently MySpace thinks so, cuz all the ads it gives me are in Portguese #
15:05 5th waffle this week #
15:24 Does anyone know any other internet providers in Manhattan? I want out of the clutches of Verizon but am not able to sign up with Time W ... #
17:43 i want to start a foundation to save North Americas #1 endangered species, nearly extinct: The Top. #

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20:07 i still want to try escargot, but im too embarrassed. & i feel like escargot "to go" is not right. & i dont have the fork or tongs. #
22:45 im confused/y this race against time 4 Cranberries tix &they sold out in 10mins etc./&now i could buy 6 more on ticketmaster if i wanted? #
02:05 sittinovaherestarininyofacewithalustinmaeyessuredontgiveadamnandyoudontknowthativebeendreaminofyainmyfantasy #
15:40 4 hrs on phone with Verizon DSL trying to get my internet to work. How is it after 4 hrs we have gotten nowhere? #
16:26 4.5 hrs, 1 billion xfers trying to get my internet up. Verizon ACTUALLY transferred me to a completely different company: UPS. not kidding. #

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00:44 someone please marry me and get me the hell out of here #
02:26 thinking of changing my name to Kosovo Binaca #
03:12 boys r stupid & i hate them all. set fire to ur face #
10:35 i want to go to the diner for a waffle, bacon, & coffee, but that would be 4 days in a row & im starting to feel embarrassed #
17:36 neighbor has started using so much cologne that my apartment is constantly filled w/it. as if schizos shrieking round the clock wasnt enough #
18:13 everyone respond to this with the meanest, most horrible thing you can come up with. ready...GO! #
18:36 no offense, but you guys are a lot meaner when you're not trying. i dont think i've ever been less offended in my life. #

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21:05 turns out the chocolate/peppermint thing doesnt work. bought 2 brands from whole foods, both taste like poopoo. #
00:08 new garmin. been charging for hours. still wont turn on. why doesnt anything work, ever? life=paying lots of $ 2rich ppl 4 stuff that sucks #
00:32 sumday sumbodys gonna make ya wanna turn around and say goodbyeeyi / til then baybeh r u gonna let em hold u down & make ya cryeeyi #
14:29 i <3 p!nk #

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00:20 is a stressball #
12:13 People who blow their nose in public are so fucking gross and evil. Come on now. Especially in restaurants. That's fucking sick. #
13:56 does anyone have personal experience with Tunecore? #
16:10 beth karas + nancy grace = perfection #
18:53 URGENT: i want a big dark chocolate bar with little pieces of peppermint candy in it. readyyyy...GO! #

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20:36 i dont know if i can stomach another ride n a turboprop/and its supposed 2 rain 2morrow/should i buy n amtrak ticket? :( #
10:11 On the train :). After upcoming Toronto flight, no more propeller planes if it can be helped. Blech #
13:52 I have been listening to 4 hours of snoring #
15:32 I'm home!! And 2 hours before my flight was even scheduled to leave Syracuse! #

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20:35 btw if u live near SYRACUSE, i'm playing at Syr. Univ. Schine Underground tomorrow (sat 10/4 6pm $7) tix: 315-443-4517 #
22:42 and by sat 10/4, i meant sat 10/3. obviously. omg do i really have to face the airport again tomorrow? #
10:13 When did train conductors start refusing to call for tickets? They just snap their pincers at you in silence like angry lobsters. #
11:54 The flight attendant just announced we were delayed because the plane is "gettin a new ground power thingymabobber." ?! #
14:44 playing tonight. SYRACUSE UNIV Schine Underground 6pm $3student $7public / tix: 315-443-4517 #

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22:46 omg emergency!!!! 911!!!! *wee uuu weee uuu* (<--sirens) red alert!! we have an emergency!!!!!!!!!!! i'm still single :( #
01:03 i can't decide who i love more, Angela Chase or Lysol #
10:23 i keep walking into stores & restaurants and saying things like "Olá" and "Ciao" and "Obrigado" by mistake #
12:09 omfg i did it!!!!!!! i got tickets to THE CRANBERRIES!!!!! and im in town!!!!!!! omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg i cant breathe #
12:18 THE CRANBERRIES11@!#!#T(@$G) it sold out in like 10 minutes and I AHVE TICKETSSSSASAIDVOIJ!!!!!!!! omg my lifelong dream #
12:35 AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH omjc omjc omjc omjc zooooommm bay zoommmm bay zooommm bay eh ay eh ay eh ay eh oh uh oh uh #
12:50 @lisaloeb4real um hi lisa. as long as my dreams are coming true (the cranberries reunion), will you write a song with me? #
14:31 Why do str8 guys like hiss and stuff at girls on the street? Do women actually respond to that or are they trying to attract snakes? #
14:47 I'm gonna write a book that says u have to pay me 10% of ur income in order to comply w/ God's law & go to Heaven, and call it The Brible #
17:28 i just walked by a stretch limo entirely painted with...spray paint. matte finish. the very definition of paradox. #

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